WEBVTT 00:00:07.240 --> 00:00:09.843 So, I studied economics in Liverpool University, 00:00:09.876 --> 00:00:13.513 and I had one dream all my life, I was going to be a policeman, 00:00:13.546 --> 00:00:15.715 that was my thing. 00:00:15.749 --> 00:00:16.916 And I did become a policeman, 00:00:16.950 --> 00:00:19.452 I was a policeman in Liverpool for two years 00:00:19.486 --> 00:00:21.721 and I hated it after about 30 minutes. 00:00:22.956 --> 00:00:26.960 I kind of realized it was the wrong job, but I stayed in it for two years. 00:00:26.993 --> 00:00:32.799 And then I trained to teach English to people from other countries. 00:00:32.832 --> 00:00:37.637 My first job was in Singapore, so I lived in Singapore for a year and a half 00:00:37.671 --> 00:00:42.208 and after that, I moved to Japan, I was in Sapporo originally. 00:00:42.242 --> 00:00:44.711 I was in Sapporo for nine years 00:00:44.744 --> 00:00:49.015 teaching various different places of the universities. 00:00:49.049 --> 00:00:53.119 At the end of, I cannot even remember when now, I began to notice 00:00:53.153 --> 00:00:55.255 that Japanese people when they spoke English 00:00:55.288 --> 00:00:59.659 made the same mistakes all the time and naturally because, 00:00:59.693 --> 00:01:02.262 and I could see because I was studying Japanese, 00:01:02.295 --> 00:01:04.631 so, I could see why they made those mistakes. 00:01:04.664 --> 00:01:06.666 So, I started writing little memos about this 00:01:06.700 --> 00:01:11.004 and I thought this will be a good idea to practice my Japanese too. 00:01:11.037 --> 00:01:13.440 So I started writing it and long story, 00:01:13.473 --> 00:01:16.042 that became a book and that was the first book 00:01:16.076 --> 00:01:22.182 and I got a bit stale living in Japan, 00:01:22.215 --> 00:01:26.953 I was teaching in Japan and I moved back to the UK for a while 00:01:26.986 --> 00:01:28.288 and I was teaching in a school there 00:01:28.321 --> 00:01:30.623 and I was teaching people from all over the world 00:01:30.657 --> 00:01:33.626 and that was really interesting and I thought I want to do this again. 00:01:33.660 --> 00:01:36.196 I do not want to teach just one nationality. 00:01:36.229 --> 00:01:40.500 So, I moved to New Zealand and I taught there for a year 00:01:40.533 --> 00:01:43.536 but while I was there, my first book became a bestseller, 00:01:43.570 --> 00:01:46.906 so the publisher said please come back, you can make money. 00:01:46.940 --> 00:01:49.175 So, I said okay, I will come back. 00:01:49.209 --> 00:01:53.413 So, I came back and I taught in Nagoya Women’s University 00:01:53.446 --> 00:01:57.350 and then I moved to Nanzan University, next to here, 00:01:57.384 --> 00:01:59.819 and now I am in Gifu University. 00:01:59.853 --> 00:02:03.156 And my PhD is in language education 00:02:03.189 --> 00:02:07.360 but as part of my job I have to teach a course called Ibunkarikai 00:02:07.394 --> 00:02:10.096 which means kind of intercultural communication 00:02:10.130 --> 00:02:12.032 or it is a cultural understanding. 00:02:12.065 --> 00:02:16.002 I am not really an expert in this, just between us, 00:02:16.036 --> 00:02:17.704 but I have lived here a long time 00:02:17.737 --> 00:02:20.140 and I have lived in a lot of different countries 00:02:20.173 --> 00:02:21.508 and I have travelled a lot. 00:02:21.541 --> 00:02:25.311 So, a lot of what I am talking about today is really from my own experience 00:02:25.345 --> 00:02:27.113 and I would be interested to know 00:02:27.147 --> 00:02:31.117 how much it matches with other people’s experience. 00:02:31.151 --> 00:02:34.721 A few years ago, I decided to write a blog and the blog was called 00:02:34.754 --> 00:02:37.557 10 things you should not say to people from other countries. 00:02:38.858 --> 00:02:41.161 I wrote this in English, and I wrote it in Japanese. 00:02:41.194 --> 00:02:46.399 The reason I wrote it was because I met a lot of Japanese people 00:02:46.433 --> 00:02:51.338 who said things to me that made me not want to talk to them. 00:02:51.371 --> 00:02:52.739 You understand what I mean? 00:02:52.772 --> 00:02:53.773 I did not dislike them, 00:02:53.807 --> 00:02:57.110 but I just thought, yes okay, I do not really want to talk to you. 00:02:57.143 --> 00:03:01.047 And thinking about it, I am pretty sure that I said things to Japanese people 00:03:01.081 --> 00:03:03.583 that made them not want to talk to me. 00:03:03.616 --> 00:03:05.385 But I just did not notice. 00:03:05.418 --> 00:03:10.123 So, because I am on this side, I noticed my side and the thing I noticed was that 00:03:10.156 --> 00:03:14.561 many of these people were very well intentioned, 00:03:14.594 --> 00:03:16.529 they wanted to talk to me, 00:03:16.563 --> 00:03:19.666 and they wanted to have a good relationship with me. 00:03:19.699 --> 00:03:25.071 And they did not know that the things that they were saying were upsetting me. 00:03:25.105 --> 00:03:30.176 And so, I decided to write a list that I thought do not say these 10 things 00:03:30.210 --> 00:03:34.347 because generally speaking, people from other countries 00:03:34.381 --> 00:03:36.616 are going to be annoyed if you say this. 00:03:36.649 --> 00:03:38.885 So, it is quite contentious, 00:03:38.918 --> 00:03:43.690 and I put this on Facebook after I wrote it on my blog 00:03:43.723 --> 00:03:46.893 and we got a lot of responses 00:03:46.926 --> 00:03:50.997 from other non-Japanese people living in Japan 00:03:51.031 --> 00:03:53.533 and the response was mixed. 00:03:53.566 --> 00:03:58.371 Some people said about some of my points, no, that is crazy, 00:03:58.405 --> 00:04:02.642 you are too sensitive, I do not mind if anybody says that to me at all. 00:04:02.676 --> 00:04:08.615 But the point was nobody, there was no point on which everybody disagreed. 00:04:08.648 --> 00:04:13.420 Every point, at least half of the people agreed with me. 00:04:13.453 --> 00:04:19.826 So, there is that danger that if you talk to someone from another country, 00:04:19.859 --> 00:04:23.063 in Japan, this was Japanese people, 00:04:23.096 --> 00:04:26.399 if you talk to somebody from other country, they might not like this. 00:04:26.433 --> 00:04:29.836 They might but they might not, so it is probably best to avoid it. 00:04:32.105 --> 00:04:36.976 This word is a bit of a problematic "should" because people say, 00:04:37.010 --> 00:04:41.715 "Who are you to say what we should say and what we should not say." 00:04:41.748 --> 00:04:46.319 And what I mean by that is if you want to create a good impression, 00:04:46.353 --> 00:04:48.588 if you want the other person to like you. 00:04:48.621 --> 00:04:52.392 If you do not care what the other person thinks, say anything you want 00:04:52.392 --> 00:04:56.229 because that is not the - my point is about if you want them - 00:04:56.262 --> 00:05:02.002 if your intention is to build some kind of relationship with that person 00:05:02.035 --> 00:05:07.440 or even just to talk to that person, then I think these are better avoided. 00:05:09.843 --> 00:05:13.913 In the talk today, I am not going to talk just about Japanese people 00:05:13.947 --> 00:05:18.118 but just for your interest, these were my 10, 00:05:18.151 --> 00:05:22.455 now I can see there is a lot of people who are not Japanese in the audience, 00:05:22.489 --> 00:05:25.392 if you are sitting near someone who is not Japanese 00:05:25.425 --> 00:05:30.063 please ask them what they think about those, ask them if they annoy you, 00:05:30.096 --> 00:05:32.399 did these annoy you, if so, why, 00:05:32.432 --> 00:05:34.834 which ones are okay, which ones are not okay, 00:05:34.868 --> 00:05:38.938 if you are only sitting together with other Japanese people, 00:05:38.972 --> 00:05:42.175 look at them and think about why you think they might be, 00:05:42.208 --> 00:05:46.813 they might let’s say not annoyed, might create a negative impression. 00:05:46.846 --> 00:05:50.350 That is quite safe, might create a negative impression. 00:05:50.383 --> 00:05:54.254 So please take a few minutes and just if you can, talk to the people around you 00:05:54.287 --> 00:05:56.289 and see what they think about those. 00:07:14.601 --> 00:07:17.771 Okay, did we get some ideas? 00:07:20.740 --> 00:07:23.843 Let me do a very check at the beginning. 00:07:23.877 --> 00:07:25.679 How many people are not from Japan? 00:07:27.047 --> 00:07:31.584 How many people who are not from Japan can see at least one thing on that list 00:07:31.618 --> 00:07:32.619 that you agree with? 00:07:34.487 --> 00:07:37.457 Okay, so there we go. 00:07:37.490 --> 00:07:40.160 For tonight’s talk, I know that some people are not Japanese, 00:07:40.193 --> 00:07:43.096 some people are Japanese, so I changed the talk 00:07:43.129 --> 00:07:46.166 and now I don’t talk about “should say” or “should not say”, 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:48.335 I talk about things to consider. 00:07:48.368 --> 00:07:50.870 These are just things that we need to bear in mind, 00:07:50.904 --> 00:07:54.908 and I am also very, very aware that I can then squeeze them down 00:07:54.941 --> 00:07:58.545 into five kind of principles or five areas 00:07:58.578 --> 00:08:01.548 and those areas apply to everyone, not just Japanese people. 00:08:01.581 --> 00:08:05.218 They apply to us when we speak to do Japanese people in Japan, 00:08:05.251 --> 00:08:09.556 they equally apply to all of us when we go to other countries, 00:08:09.589 --> 00:08:11.157 or at least I think they do. 00:08:12.559 --> 00:08:16.229 So, the first thing I think we need to think about is language. 00:08:16.229 --> 00:08:22.235 What I mean by this is the language that we speak to somebody in. 00:08:22.268 --> 00:08:26.706 Let me tell you a story and see if you can figure out what is wrong with this. 00:08:26.740 --> 00:08:29.275 Most people say, my students, when I tell them this, 00:08:29.309 --> 00:08:31.811 they say it is {Japanese}. 00:08:31.845 --> 00:08:34.280 But if you think about it, you will realize it is a problem. 00:08:34.314 --> 00:08:39.085 I was in a sports club in Gifu and this was only two years ago 00:08:39.119 --> 00:08:42.389 and I was walking down some stairs to go into the swimming pool 00:08:42.422 --> 00:08:45.859 and there was a lady coming through the door the other way 00:08:45.892 --> 00:08:49.162 and I opened the door for her and I said {Japanese} 00:08:49.195 --> 00:08:51.531 and she looked at me and she said, "Thank you." 00:08:54.334 --> 00:08:56.603 Okay or not okay? 00:08:56.636 --> 00:09:00.040 Most people would say {Japanese} 00:09:00.073 --> 00:09:02.909 and then what I do to students is I say to them, 00:09:02.942 --> 00:09:06.513 what I tell students is let us change the situation. 00:09:06.546 --> 00:09:09.349 Imagine you are a Japanese person in London 00:09:09.382 --> 00:09:12.018 and you are in a sports club and you go through a door 00:09:12.052 --> 00:09:14.154 and you speak English and you open the door 00:09:14.187 --> 00:09:16.690 and you say to the person “After you”, 00:09:16.723 --> 00:09:19.159 and the person looks at you and says {Chinese}, 00:09:21.194 --> 00:09:25.899 here we don’t like that do we because you would say, “I am not Chinese, 00:09:25.932 --> 00:09:28.335 why are you speaking Chinese to me, I am not Chinese” 00:09:28.368 --> 00:09:31.137 now that lady didn’t know that I was British, 00:09:31.171 --> 00:09:35.875 I could be French, I could be German, I could be Spanish, I could be Russian 00:09:35.909 --> 00:09:39.646 and when we speak to someone I think there is a danger in Japan 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:44.784 that there is a kind of assumption that English equals foreign, 00:09:44.818 --> 00:09:47.153 every foreigner in the world speaks English. 00:09:49.322 --> 00:09:53.293 Is anybody here, any Spanish or German or Italian or French people? 00:09:55.462 --> 00:10:00.734 I have a French friend and a German friend who speak English very well 00:10:00.767 --> 00:10:04.004 but they also speak Japanese very well 00:10:04.037 --> 00:10:06.573 and if they speak to somebody in Japanese 00:10:06.606 --> 00:10:09.642 and that person replies to them in English, 00:10:09.676 --> 00:10:11.678 they are going to have a negative impression 00:10:11.711 --> 00:10:14.714 because they are going to think I have learned your language, 00:10:14.748 --> 00:10:17.984 I have come to your country and I have learned your language 00:10:18.018 --> 00:10:20.387 and I speak to you in your language, 00:10:20.420 --> 00:10:24.157 why are you replying in a language that is not yours and it is not mine. 00:10:25.425 --> 00:10:30.397 And I worry about this when I go to schools 00:10:30.430 --> 00:10:34.034 because, I visit elementary schools 00:10:34.067 --> 00:10:36.403 because I am in the faculty of education, 00:10:36.436 --> 00:10:39.272 and every elementary school I go to children will follow me 00:10:39.305 --> 00:10:42.275 where I am going, hello, hello and hello, and these - 00:10:42.308 --> 00:10:46.880 I sometimes call them the hello monsters because you meet them on the street 00:10:46.913 --> 00:10:50.150 and they are very dangerous and my bet, never ever reply 00:10:50.183 --> 00:10:52.252 because if you reply, it is never going to finish. 00:10:52.285 --> 00:10:56.056 You are going to go hello, hello and it just gets more and more and more. 00:10:56.089 --> 00:10:59.959 But again, it is this assumption that you are a foreigner 00:10:59.993 --> 00:11:02.028 therefore I should speak to you in English 00:11:02.062 --> 00:11:07.967 and I think it is a little disrespectful of other cultures and other countries 00:11:08.001 --> 00:11:09.636 that do not speak English. 00:11:09.669 --> 00:11:13.640 The reality is that most foreigners that you meet in English, 00:11:13.673 --> 00:11:17.444 at least the ones that I know probably do speak English 00:11:17.477 --> 00:11:18.812 but it is also quite possible 00:11:18.845 --> 00:11:21.314 that they do not want you to speak to them in English 00:11:21.348 --> 00:11:24.050 and it is also quite possible that they speak Japanese 00:11:24.084 --> 00:11:25.885 better than they speak English. 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:27.854 So, I think that is a real problem. 00:11:29.456 --> 00:11:33.660 As I said at the beginning, this is not just, everybody makes this mistake. 00:11:33.693 --> 00:11:38.131 A lot of people make this mistake, I made this mistake in a big way - 00:11:38.164 --> 00:11:44.404 about 30 years ago and I spoke to a man and he got very, very angry with me. 00:11:44.437 --> 00:11:48.008 I was in Indonesia, I was in the island of Sumatra 00:11:48.041 --> 00:11:52.879 and I was waiting for a bus and I could not find the schedule, the time table 00:11:52.912 --> 00:11:57.384 and I saw a group of tourists and so I thought I know, I will go and ask them. 00:11:57.417 --> 00:12:00.153 So, I went over to talk to this man. 00:12:00.186 --> 00:12:04.991 Now obviously I did not video this because this was years and years ago 00:12:05.025 --> 00:12:06.760 and I did not know it would be interesting, 00:12:06.793 --> 00:12:12.465 but I have a colleague who kindly agreed to recreate the conversation for me. 00:12:12.499 --> 00:12:15.168 So, this is pretty much exactly how the conversation went. 00:12:17.504 --> 00:12:20.040 Excuse me, do you know what time the next bus comes? 00:12:20.073 --> 00:12:23.543 {Foreign language} 00:12:23.576 --> 00:12:25.545 Oh sorry, I thought you spoke English. 00:12:25.578 --> 00:12:27.914 Oh, I do, but you should not presume that everyone does. 00:12:30.016 --> 00:12:31.484 I do not know how well you could hear that. 00:12:31.518 --> 00:12:33.019 Can we turn the volume up a little bit? 00:12:35.155 --> 00:12:36.189 Could you hear it? 00:12:38.158 --> 00:12:39.793 Sorry, my computers are max. 00:12:47.367 --> 00:12:49.869 Excuse me, do you know what time the next bus comes? 00:12:49.903 --> 00:12:53.406 {Foreign language} 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:55.375 Oh sorry, I thought you spoke English. 00:12:55.408 --> 00:12:57.844 Oh, I do, but you should not presume that everyone does. 00:12:59.713 --> 00:13:03.049 So I said to him what time is the next bus and he said to me - 00:13:04.918 --> 00:13:09.689 and I said, I am sorry, I thought you spoke English and he said this, 00:13:09.723 --> 00:13:12.959 “I do speak but you should not presume that everybody does”. 00:13:12.992 --> 00:13:15.295 Now he was actually Dutch which when you think about it 00:13:15.328 --> 00:13:18.531 is quite sensible because Indonesia was a Dutch colony, 00:13:18.565 --> 00:13:20.967 so there is going to be a lot of touch tourists. 00:13:21.001 --> 00:13:23.203 He didn't like that I had just gone up to him 00:13:23.236 --> 00:13:27.374 and just spoken in English without even, he was very upset about this. 00:13:27.407 --> 00:13:33.380 And I think it is a reasonable thing that we all make this mistake, 00:13:33.413 --> 00:13:36.483 we look at people and we assume that they speak this language. 00:13:37.917 --> 00:13:39.519 So, it is something that we need to think about 00:13:39.552 --> 00:13:44.357 because if you get it wrong, you can create a very negative impression. 00:13:44.391 --> 00:13:48.395 However, the opposite of this is also true. 00:13:48.428 --> 00:13:51.931 Sometimes people can speak languages even though they don't look like 00:13:51.965 --> 00:13:53.733 they can speak the language. 00:13:53.767 --> 00:13:55.535 And this happens in Japan. 00:13:55.568 --> 00:13:57.270 Have you seen this video? 00:13:59.105 --> 00:14:00.774 Some of you will have done, some of you won’t have done, 00:14:00.807 --> 00:14:03.943 it’s a very funny video, it is made by an intercultural group. 00:14:03.977 --> 00:14:08.148 For the people who have not seen it I will play the video, it is very short. 00:14:11.418 --> 00:14:15.789 Of the kind of opposite problem and when I take Japanese students to the UK 00:14:15.822 --> 00:14:19.325 always people on the streets will shout {Chinese} 00:14:19.359 --> 00:14:23.296 and I am just - that is so embarrassing, but people do it. 00:14:23.329 --> 00:14:28.435 When we look at - faces do not tell you anything about language. 00:14:28.468 --> 00:14:30.937 They do not tell you what language the person can speak, 00:14:30.970 --> 00:14:33.807 and they do not tell you what language the person cannot speak. 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:36.076 So Japanese people sometimes say to me, 00:14:36.109 --> 00:14:38.978 so what language should I speak to foreigners in? 00:14:39.012 --> 00:14:41.581 Japanese, it is Japan. 00:14:41.614 --> 00:14:44.184 If you speak to somebody in Japanese in Japan, 00:14:44.217 --> 00:14:48.021 that cannot possibly be wrong, it cannot possibly be wrong. 00:14:48.054 --> 00:14:50.657 If they do not speak Japanese or if they do not understand, 00:14:50.690 --> 00:14:54.260 they can reply to you in English and then you can reply to them in English 00:14:54.294 --> 00:14:58.465 but if you just start in English, it is possible that you might upset them. 00:14:58.498 --> 00:15:01.034 So, it is better not to. 00:15:01.067 --> 00:15:04.070 But for all of us, we need to be careful about making assumptions 00:15:04.104 --> 00:15:06.239 about what languages people speak. 00:15:07.640 --> 00:15:11.077 So, first thing is language, the second thing is the topics, what we talk about. 00:15:12.345 --> 00:15:16.316 Every country has kind of neutral safe topics 00:15:16.349 --> 00:15:19.252 that we discuss with people we do not know. 00:15:19.285 --> 00:15:23.323 For anybody who does not know, in my country it is the weather, in the UK, 00:15:23.356 --> 00:15:26.926 and the reason we talk about the weather is because it changes every 10 minutes. 00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:30.030 And Japanese people say Japan has four seasons, 00:15:30.063 --> 00:15:32.999 that is nothing, we have four seasons per day. 00:15:34.501 --> 00:15:37.737 When people ask me, they go to the UK and they say what clothes should I take, 00:15:37.771 --> 00:15:40.707 and the answer is always the same, all of them. 00:15:40.740 --> 00:15:43.977 Take your shorts, take your swimming costume and take a down jacket 00:15:44.010 --> 00:15:46.713 because you have no idea what is going to happen. 00:15:46.746 --> 00:15:51.584 The problem is that these topics do not always translate to other countries. 00:15:51.618 --> 00:15:53.953 In Japan, I think people do talk about the weather 00:15:53.987 --> 00:15:57.490 because it gets quite extreme, it is very hot, or it is very cold. 00:15:57.524 --> 00:16:00.560 My dad told me a story about when he went to Australia 00:16:00.593 --> 00:16:04.531 and he was in a corner shop in a local town 00:16:04.564 --> 00:16:08.034 and he was the only person in the shop and another guy came into the shop 00:16:08.068 --> 00:16:11.104 and that guy said, "Good Morning," and my dad said "Good Morning", 00:16:11.137 --> 00:16:15.475 my dad said "Lovely Day" and the man looked at him kind of strangely 00:16:15.508 --> 00:16:17.877 and he said “Where are you from?" 00:16:17.911 --> 00:16:19.746 and dad said “Oh I am from the United Kingdom," 00:16:19.779 --> 00:16:23.550 and he said "Ah, I thought so, we do not talk about the weather here, 00:16:23.583 --> 00:16:26.086 it has not rained for six months. 00:16:26.119 --> 00:16:27.420 It is like this every day. 00:16:27.454 --> 00:16:30.857 If we said lovely day every time it was a lovely day, 00:16:30.890 --> 00:16:33.493 we would drive each other crazy.” 00:16:33.526 --> 00:16:39.332 We talk about these different topics and it was not rude, it was not bad, 00:16:39.366 --> 00:16:43.336 but it is something that the other guy did not want to talk about really. 00:16:43.370 --> 00:16:49.743 Now in Japan, the kind of basic neutral topic probably is food. 00:16:49.776 --> 00:16:53.380 I think Japanese people like to talk a lot about food. 00:16:53.413 --> 00:16:58.852 If you turn on any Japanese TV channel at any time of the day or night 00:16:58.885 --> 00:17:04.357 something about food is going to be going on, which is fine 00:17:04.391 --> 00:17:07.160 and there are other countries that do this too, but some do not. 00:17:07.193 --> 00:17:11.231 So, from my culture for example it is kind of strange to ask people 00:17:11.264 --> 00:17:14.300 what kind of food they like if you do not know them very well. 00:17:14.334 --> 00:17:16.469 If you have just met someone for the first time 00:17:16.503 --> 00:17:19.572 and you start asking them what food they like, 00:17:19.606 --> 00:17:22.308 I would think are you offering to take me to dinner, 00:17:22.342 --> 00:17:26.613 are we going shopping together, why are you interested in this? 00:17:27.847 --> 00:17:32.952 So, it can create a negative impression. 00:17:32.986 --> 00:17:35.422 And when I first came to Japan, I thought that this was 00:17:35.455 --> 00:17:36.589 because I was a foreigner. 00:17:36.623 --> 00:17:39.225 I thought Japanese people were asking me about food 00:17:39.259 --> 00:17:41.961 because they thought it might be different and it was interesting. 00:17:41.995 --> 00:17:45.465 But I listen to Japanese friends talking to each other, 00:17:45.498 --> 00:17:50.070 the best I have ever seen was a guy from Osaka and a girl from Tokyo 00:17:50.103 --> 00:17:54.541 and they talked for 90 minutes about the difference in breakfasts. 00:17:54.574 --> 00:17:58.478 It was just one meal, breakfast in Tokyo versus breakfast in Osaka. 00:17:58.511 --> 00:18:00.647 This conversation went for 90 minutes. 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:02.682 If I had been involved in that conversation, 00:18:02.716 --> 00:18:04.918 I think I would have killed myself. 00:18:04.951 --> 00:18:09.422 I could not just talk about food for that long, but they did, and it is fine. 00:18:09.456 --> 00:18:13.259 It is just important to remember that it is not the same in every culture. 00:18:13.293 --> 00:18:17.764 In some cultures that is kind of a slightly strange topic to talk about. 00:18:19.432 --> 00:18:21.735 One of the things I will talk about a little bit later was 00:18:21.768 --> 00:18:24.404 when that guy in the video was talking to her 00:18:24.437 --> 00:18:28.975 saying what kind of Asian are you from, she was kind of sending signals here. 00:18:29.009 --> 00:18:31.444 "What you are asking me is weird, 00:18:31.478 --> 00:18:34.681 please stop talking to me, please stop being strange." 00:18:34.714 --> 00:18:38.485 But he did not pick up on that at all, he just kept going. 00:18:38.518 --> 00:18:40.787 Often it is difficult to know if you go to another country 00:18:40.820 --> 00:18:43.156 what is the natural thing to talk about and what is not, 00:18:43.189 --> 00:18:47.694 but you can generally pick up the signals if you are open to them. 00:18:47.727 --> 00:18:52.198 And something for non-Japanese people who live in Japan, 00:18:52.232 --> 00:18:54.868 when we meet someone for the first time 00:18:54.901 --> 00:18:58.238 or we talk to someone that we don't know very well, 00:18:58.271 --> 00:19:01.775 often we will use neutral topics like the weather 00:19:01.808 --> 00:19:05.078 or something simple, sports or the news, 00:19:05.111 --> 00:19:07.681 but if we get to know people just a little bit 00:19:07.714 --> 00:19:11.017 we will often go to topics where we are likely to disagree 00:19:11.051 --> 00:19:12.585 because we like disagreeing. 00:19:12.619 --> 00:19:14.454 I am not sure why, but we do. 00:19:14.487 --> 00:19:19.526 And when people talk just with friends, they will disagree 00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:22.662 and to somebody else it might sound like a fight 00:19:22.662 --> 00:19:27.200 because we are arguing with each other, but it is just a natural thing to do. 00:19:27.233 --> 00:19:29.035 In Japan, it is not. 00:19:29.069 --> 00:19:32.872 So, in Japan people generally will avoid disagreement, 00:19:32.906 --> 00:19:34.407 so by the way there is a Q&A at the end 00:19:34.441 --> 00:19:36.910 so if anybody disagrees with anything I am saying, 00:19:36.943 --> 00:19:39.212 please raise your hand at the end. 00:19:39.245 --> 00:19:43.583 But my experience has been that Japanese people will try to avoid disagreement 00:19:43.616 --> 00:19:47.787 and if you voice a very strong opinion and they disagree with you, 00:19:47.821 --> 00:19:50.323 they will not tell you that they disagree with you. 00:19:50.357 --> 00:19:56.930 If say I am having an argument with a Japanese guy about tobacco 00:19:56.963 --> 00:20:00.834 and I said "Tobacco is {Japanese}" and he said, "No, it is not." 00:20:00.867 --> 00:20:02.535 and I said "Yes it is." 00:20:02.569 --> 00:20:06.239 And I meant it is a drug but I had used the wrong word 00:20:06.272 --> 00:20:09.142 because {Japanese} means illegal drug, 00:20:09.142 --> 00:20:13.813 so {Japanese} would have been okay, but not {Japanese}, is that right? 00:20:13.847 --> 00:20:17.350 But in the end, he just said yes, okay, it is {Japanese}, 00:20:17.384 --> 00:20:20.720 but of course I was totally wrong. 00:20:20.754 --> 00:20:24.024 And of course, what he is thinking, I do not want to talk to this guy anymore. 00:20:24.057 --> 00:20:27.093 And that is what we are trying to avoid. 00:20:27.127 --> 00:20:30.930 So generally, it is important to remember the topics 00:20:30.964 --> 00:20:33.700 and the ways of talking that are safe in your country 00:20:33.733 --> 00:20:36.136 may not be safe in another country. 00:20:36.169 --> 00:20:38.138 Another example of my mistake. 00:20:38.171 --> 00:20:43.143 I was teaching a group of high school teachers, there were 16 teachers 00:20:43.176 --> 00:20:47.647 and there was one woman who said, everybody was listening 00:20:47.681 --> 00:20:51.251 and she said, "My son goes to high school in Ogaki," 00:20:51.284 --> 00:20:55.355 Ogaki is a city next to Gifu, and I have been to Ogaki schools, 00:20:55.388 --> 00:20:57.424 I have been to three different schools there, 00:20:57.457 --> 00:20:59.826 so I thought oh maybe I know the school. 00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:02.395 So I said, "Which school does he go to?" 00:21:02.429 --> 00:21:08.168 And the room just went oh no, you have asked a bad question." 00:21:08.201 --> 00:21:12.138 and that is really bad question in Japan and the reason is because {unclear}, 00:21:12.138 --> 00:21:15.508 these are teachers and everybody knows about the level of schools. 00:21:15.542 --> 00:21:19.446 So, either her son goes to a really high-level school or he doesn't. 00:21:19.479 --> 00:21:23.149 If he does go to a high-level school, it is really awkward for her to say that 00:21:23.183 --> 00:21:26.119 because everybody else will say {Japanese}, 00:21:26.152 --> 00:21:28.388 but if he goes to a very low level school 00:21:28.421 --> 00:21:29.956 then she is going to be embarrassed. 00:21:29.989 --> 00:21:32.125 So, I had put her in a difficult position 00:21:32.158 --> 00:21:34.361 by asking a question I should not have asked. 00:21:34.394 --> 00:21:37.330 Now, in my country you could ask a thousand people 00:21:37.364 --> 00:21:39.299 what school do your children go to, 00:21:39.332 --> 00:21:42.535 nobody would care, completely safe in my country, 00:21:42.569 --> 00:21:45.605 but not so in Japan depending on the context. 00:21:45.638 --> 00:21:48.541 So, it is something you need to think about. 00:21:48.575 --> 00:21:52.445 The final point about this is that when we live in another country, 00:21:52.479 --> 00:21:56.449 we are the odd ones out, we are the ones who are different. 00:21:56.483 --> 00:22:02.088 And if you live in a foreign country, generally you tend to group together 00:22:02.122 --> 00:22:06.259 with anybody you can find who is also not from Japan 00:22:06.292 --> 00:22:08.094 and even better, from your country. 00:22:08.128 --> 00:22:12.966 So, a Chinese person who lives in Nagoya probably has a lot of Chinese friends. 00:22:14.434 --> 00:22:16.469 An Australian who lives in London 00:22:16.503 --> 00:22:18.905 is also going to have a lot of Australian friends. 00:22:18.938 --> 00:22:21.975 And when we get together, we like to complain, 00:22:22.008 --> 00:22:23.643 we like to complain about Japan. 00:22:25.045 --> 00:22:27.313 This is a great topic, and this will keep us going for hours, 00:22:27.347 --> 00:22:29.049 what do not we like about Japan. 00:22:29.082 --> 00:22:33.186 Now, the shocking fact is the Japanese people do not want to hear this. 00:22:33.219 --> 00:22:35.689 So it is a great topic for us 00:22:35.722 --> 00:22:38.858 but it is not such a great topic to talk about with Japanese people 00:22:38.892 --> 00:22:41.161 and as I said before even if they agree with you, 00:22:41.194 --> 00:22:43.029 even if they think you have got a good point, 00:22:43.063 --> 00:22:45.298 they are not going to say that they agree with you. 00:22:45.331 --> 00:22:46.966 Well, they might pretend to agree with you, 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:51.805 but they might think yes, that is true, but you should not say it 00:22:51.838 --> 00:22:54.040 because this is not your country. 00:22:54.074 --> 00:22:55.575 And exactly the same thing would happen, 00:22:55.608 --> 00:23:00.613 if an American started telling me that British weather was terrible, 00:23:00.647 --> 00:23:05.185 I would defend it, I agree entirely it is awful, the dreadful weather, 00:23:05.218 --> 00:23:07.287 but an American should not be saying that. 00:23:07.320 --> 00:23:09.022 So, if an American is saying that I am going to say, 00:23:09.055 --> 00:23:13.927 no I must protect my country, I must defend the honor of my country. 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:16.863 So, any complaints that you have about Japan, 00:23:16.896 --> 00:23:21.634 save them for the people that you know or other people who are not from Japan. 00:23:24.771 --> 00:23:28.842 The third thing is context, this is a really, really important one. 00:23:28.875 --> 00:23:32.946 When you talk to somebody from other country it is very important to remember 00:23:32.979 --> 00:23:35.715 or to think about who are you talking to, 00:23:35.749 --> 00:23:41.821 who is this person, not just Mr. A foreigner or Mr. A Vietnamese, 00:23:41.855 --> 00:23:44.691 this is a person and they have got a history 00:23:44.724 --> 00:23:47.627 and they have got a job and they have got a background. 00:23:47.660 --> 00:23:51.598 And I said before, when I put my blog on Facebook, 00:23:51.631 --> 00:23:54.501 different people responded in different ways. 00:23:54.534 --> 00:23:56.836 And when I looked at who was saying what, 00:23:56.870 --> 00:24:00.674 it was kind of natural, you could see for example 00:24:00.707 --> 00:24:04.044 people who have lived in Japan a long time do not like this. 00:24:04.077 --> 00:24:07.514 People who have lived in Japan only three months think it is okay. 00:24:07.547 --> 00:24:11.518 So that kind of thing is really, really important 00:24:11.551 --> 00:24:14.087 and this kind of connects to the last thing 00:24:14.120 --> 00:24:18.291 but there is a strange phenomenon that happens sometimes in Japan 00:24:18.324 --> 00:24:21.594 called GPM, and when I - I invented this, 00:24:21.628 --> 00:24:23.697 do not write it down, it is nonsense. 00:24:23.730 --> 00:24:28.601 When I tell this to students they forget everything else but they remember this, 00:24:28.635 --> 00:24:33.239 GPM stands for Gaijin panic mode and what this is, 00:24:33.273 --> 00:24:36.076 is when a Japanese person is confronted by a foreigner 00:24:36.109 --> 00:24:40.313 they just go into panic mode, they just kind of forget, 00:24:40.347 --> 00:24:42.682 they lose all common sense. 00:24:42.716 --> 00:24:46.586 For example, the Gifu University hospital is next to Gifu University 00:24:46.619 --> 00:24:49.422 and I went there for an appointment quite recently 00:24:49.456 --> 00:24:52.225 and my appointment was at 10:30 00:24:52.258 --> 00:24:56.596 and we had a {Japanese} at lunch time, {Japanese}. 00:24:56.629 --> 00:25:08.742 So I went to the counter and I said {Japanese} 00:25:09.342 --> 00:25:12.245 And she said {Japanese} 00:25:12.278 --> 00:25:15.148 And then she called the doctor and the doctor said something 00:25:15.181 --> 00:25:17.417 and then she held the phone like this and she said, 00:25:17.450 --> 00:25:19.452 {Japanese} 00:25:21.688 --> 00:25:24.991 And I said {Japanese} 00:25:25.025 --> 00:25:28.328 And she said {Japanese} 00:25:28.361 --> 00:25:31.498 It was always kind of a block. 00:25:31.531 --> 00:25:32.766 That was not a particularly bad one, 00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:37.637 the worst one I have ever had was in a bank in Sato in Aichiken 00:25:37.671 --> 00:25:41.775 and I wanted to put money into the bank and I had never done that before 00:25:41.808 --> 00:25:43.943 and so I did no know which button it was. 00:25:43.977 --> 00:25:46.813 I did not know the word for deposit. 00:25:46.846 --> 00:25:49.916 Sometimes in the banks, they have old guys who help 00:25:49.949 --> 00:25:51.584 and so I went to this old guy and I said, 00:25:51.618 --> 00:25:57.290 {Japanese} 00:25:57.323 --> 00:26:04.097 and he just looked at me and he went, “English button push, English button” 00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:09.602 and I said {Japanese} 00:26:09.636 --> 00:26:15.041 “Button, button, push this button”, and he was just in complete, 00:26:15.075 --> 00:26:17.744 okay what, I have to leave the bank. 00:26:17.777 --> 00:26:20.246 I tried for five minutes. He would not listen. 00:26:20.280 --> 00:26:22.682 It was like he was a bit like the video. 00:26:24.551 --> 00:26:27.754 So, this really does happen in real life. 00:26:30.657 --> 00:26:34.227 Again, coming back to context, in my list, a lot of people - 00:26:34.260 --> 00:26:39.399 this was the one that people said, {Japanese} 00:26:39.432 --> 00:26:42.702 There is a few reasons why this is problematic. 00:26:42.736 --> 00:26:46.773 The first reason is that Japanese people generally are very kind 00:26:46.806 --> 00:26:50.744 and very encouraging about people who try to learn their language. 00:26:50.777 --> 00:26:54.247 So, when I arrived in Japan and my Japanese was terrible, 00:26:54.280 --> 00:26:58.251 I would say {Japanese} 00:26:58.284 --> 00:27:01.154 And Japanese people would say {Japanese} 00:27:01.187 --> 00:27:02.689 And I would say thank you very much, 00:27:02.722 --> 00:27:04.924 it is just two words but thank you very much. 00:27:04.958 --> 00:27:07.527 And I remember, I did a {Japanese} 00:27:07.560 --> 00:27:12.399 I used to work at the {Japanese} in Sapporo and I did not speak very much Japanese 00:27:12.432 --> 00:27:15.268 and I asked the Japanese teacher to help me with my jikoshoukai 00:27:15.301 --> 00:27:20.140 and he wrote the most crazy sentence, even now it is difficult to say 00:27:20.173 --> 00:27:25.345 {Japanese} 00:27:25.378 --> 00:27:29.516 I had zero chance of saying that when I first arrived in Japan. 00:27:29.549 --> 00:27:33.086 So, I stood on the stage like this and I said, 00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:36.856 {Japanese} 00:27:36.890 --> 00:27:40.226 and everybody said {Japanese} 00:27:40.260 --> 00:27:43.430 This was ridiculous, I mean I completely messed it up. 00:27:47.567 --> 00:27:49.769 We are all language learners at some stage 00:27:49.803 --> 00:27:53.306 but when you learn a language a lot and it becomes part of your life, 00:27:53.340 --> 00:27:55.475 you do not think of yourself as a learner anymore. 00:27:55.508 --> 00:27:57.377 You think of yourself as a user. 00:27:57.410 --> 00:28:00.447 I mean of course I am still a Japanese learner, I study every day, 00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:04.217 but I am also kind of a Japanese user and I do not want you to treat me 00:28:04.250 --> 00:28:08.421 the same way that you treat some guy who has just said {Japanese} 00:28:10.390 --> 00:28:17.197 It kind of takes me back to the idea of being a beginner again. 00:28:17.230 --> 00:28:20.367 So at the time I do not ask other people about this 00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:24.104 but what makes me really happy is if I speak to a Japanese person 00:28:24.137 --> 00:28:27.107 and they say nothing about my Japanese at all, 00:28:27.140 --> 00:28:31.478 that makes me most happy because that means they are accepting my Japanese. 00:28:31.511 --> 00:28:35.281 If they say, {Japanese} 00:28:35.315 --> 00:28:38.985 it is kind of the - I feel that. 00:28:39.019 --> 00:28:43.656 And the other problem is that we get this so much and sometimes, 00:28:43.690 --> 00:28:49.295 I wrote my address the other day and the woman said, {Japanese} 00:28:49.329 --> 00:28:52.665 it is my address, I have lived here 23 years, 00:28:52.699 --> 00:28:55.769 if I lived in a country for 23 years and I could not write my address, 00:28:55.802 --> 00:28:57.404 there would be something wrong with me. 00:28:57.437 --> 00:29:00.240 But she was absolutely blown away by this. 00:29:00.273 --> 00:29:03.076 So, this very much depends on who you are talking to. 00:29:03.109 --> 00:29:05.045 If it is somebody who has just arrived in Japan 00:29:05.078 --> 00:29:07.947 and you know that they are learning Japanese, by all means, 00:29:07.981 --> 00:29:10.984 {Japanese} you will make them happy. 00:29:11.017 --> 00:29:13.353 If you are speaking to somebody who lives here, 00:29:13.386 --> 00:29:17.057 and they obviously speak Japanese, do not say anything at all, 00:29:17.090 --> 00:29:18.992 it is much better. 00:29:19.025 --> 00:29:22.929 And again, thinking about context, this is one that was on my list. 00:29:22.962 --> 00:29:25.331 This again is a story from the {Japanese}, 00:29:25.365 --> 00:29:26.466 we had a {Japanese} 00:29:26.499 --> 00:29:30.670 and me and two of my colleagues were talking to a Japanese guy 00:29:30.704 --> 00:29:32.272 from the {Japanese} 00:29:32.305 --> 00:29:36.176 and he was telling us about Japan which is okay because we were - 00:29:36.209 --> 00:29:39.446 it was near, we only just arrived in Japan 00:29:39.479 --> 00:29:43.950 and he was very excited to tell us that Japan is an island country 00:29:43.983 --> 00:29:46.720 and all of us kind of went, 00:29:46.753 --> 00:29:50.657 okay, we had a big of a negative impression about this 00:29:50.690 --> 00:29:56.363 and all of us were thinking does he think that we do not know this, 00:29:56.396 --> 00:29:59.065 does he think he is explaining it to us? 00:29:59.099 --> 00:30:02.102 But worse than that, I am British, 00:30:06.506 --> 00:30:10.844 I am not joking, this is true, my colleague next to me was Australian, 00:30:10.877 --> 00:30:14.381 and the colleague next to her was from New Zealand. 00:30:14.414 --> 00:30:18.685 So we pointed out well, actually we are all from island countries too 00:30:18.718 --> 00:30:21.521 and he said, “Oh {Japanese}” 00:30:21.554 --> 00:30:25.492 Again, if he had thought about it then it wasn’t a surprise, 00:30:25.525 --> 00:30:26.826 I think he just had this like 00:30:26.860 --> 00:30:30.330 I should tell foreigners that Japan is an island country. 00:30:30.363 --> 00:30:33.666 The same thing happens with season, the four seasons. 00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:37.537 I live out in the sticks in Gifu 00:30:37.570 --> 00:30:41.007 and there was a farmer working in a field next to my house 00:30:41.041 --> 00:30:44.477 and I started talking with him and he said, 00:30:44.511 --> 00:30:56.322 {Japanese} 00:30:56.322 --> 00:31:01.161 I am like, I have just told you that I have lived here 23 years, 00:31:01.194 --> 00:31:04.764 do you think I have not noticed that there are four seasons? 00:31:04.798 --> 00:31:07.467 Why do you think that you feel the need to tell me this? 00:31:07.500 --> 00:31:10.337 But also, my country too, 00:31:10.370 --> 00:31:14.174 in fact every country that is not in the tropics has four seasons. 00:31:14.207 --> 00:31:17.610 There is nothing even remotely unusual about having four seasons. 00:31:17.644 --> 00:31:22.082 And apart from anything else, Japan does not have four seasons, 00:31:22.115 --> 00:31:25.318 Japan has five seasons because you have a rainy season. 00:31:25.352 --> 00:31:28.288 Hokkaido has four seasons, Japan has five. 00:31:28.321 --> 00:31:30.090 We are about to enter the rainy season 00:31:30.123 --> 00:31:33.126 and if anybody has not seen it before, it is quite different from the summer. 00:31:35.028 --> 00:31:39.165 So it is important, just to remember the conversation 00:31:39.199 --> 00:31:42.435 that you have with somebody who is on vacation 00:31:42.469 --> 00:31:44.404 and they have been here three days 00:31:44.437 --> 00:31:46.439 is going to be a very different conversation 00:31:46.473 --> 00:31:48.775 than the conversation that you have with somebody 00:31:48.808 --> 00:31:52.245 who has lived here for 20 years and working here for 20 years 00:31:52.278 --> 00:31:54.214 and that is true wherever you go. 00:31:54.247 --> 00:31:57.417 It is important to know who is this person, what do they know. 00:31:57.417 --> 00:32:02.155 You cannot just treat everybody as a foreigner, I should say these things. 00:32:02.188 --> 00:32:04.624 The fourth thing to think about is manners. 00:32:06.326 --> 00:32:07.394 Manners are different. 00:32:07.427 --> 00:32:08.495 In different cultures, 00:32:08.528 --> 00:32:12.198 some things are good manners and some things are bad manners 00:32:12.232 --> 00:32:15.869 but there are kind of basic manners in every country 00:32:15.902 --> 00:32:22.008 and I think there is a danger that when we speak to people from another country, 00:32:22.042 --> 00:32:24.611 we kind of, especially if it is in a different language 00:32:24.644 --> 00:32:26.179 we kind of forget the manners. 00:32:26.212 --> 00:32:28.682 We kind of think okay, manners do not count anymore. 00:32:28.715 --> 00:32:31.985 The rules have gone out of the window, I can say anything I want. 00:32:32.018 --> 00:32:36.222 I was talking to my students about this and I asked if they had any examples, 00:32:36.256 --> 00:32:38.625 and one of them said yesterday she was in a shopping center 00:32:38.658 --> 00:32:42.762 with an American friend who is Black and has dreadlocks. 00:32:42.796 --> 00:32:45.565 And she was doing a survey and my friend was translating for her 00:32:45.598 --> 00:32:48.368 because she is a student and a Japanese lady, 00:32:48.401 --> 00:32:51.438 an older Japanese lady came up to answer the survey 00:32:51.471 --> 00:32:54.107 and she just wanted to touch this woman's hair 00:32:54.140 --> 00:32:55.642 because she had never seen dreadlocks before 00:32:55.675 --> 00:32:57.177 and it was very interesting for her. 00:32:57.210 --> 00:32:59.846 So, she said to my friend, {Japanese} 00:32:59.879 --> 00:33:03.750 and before my friend could translate it, she started touching her hair. 00:33:03.783 --> 00:33:07.754 She did not really mind, and she was okay with it, 00:33:07.787 --> 00:33:10.657 but the point is that Japanese lady would never do that 00:33:10.690 --> 00:33:12.592 to another Japanese lady. 00:33:12.625 --> 00:33:14.594 She would never just walk up to a Japanese lady and say, 00:33:14.627 --> 00:33:16.629 "Oh, I like your hair, can I touch it?” 00:33:16.663 --> 00:33:18.164 It is kind of strange, yes. 00:33:18.198 --> 00:33:20.166 If it is kind of strange in your country, 00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:22.769 it is probably kind of strange in another country. 00:33:22.802 --> 00:33:27.207 And it is very important, any comments about the body, 00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:30.143 you know, your eyes are so blue, thank you. 00:33:30.176 --> 00:33:36.850 When I first came to Japan, this was one of the mistakes that I noticed a lot, 00:33:36.883 --> 00:33:40.987 I was young, a lot of students complimented me on my hip. 00:33:41.021 --> 00:33:46.393 They said oh, nice hip, nice hip and in English your hip is here, 00:33:46.426 --> 00:33:49.562 this is your hip bone, that is not your hip. 00:33:49.596 --> 00:33:53.266 Japanese people make that mistake because of bust, waist, hip. 00:33:53.299 --> 00:33:56.369 So, they think that that means hip, but it is not, but I did not know this 00:33:56.403 --> 00:33:59.205 and I thought {Japanese} 00:33:59.239 --> 00:34:03.810 and I wasn't sure what to say, I would say like wow, you have nice elbows. 00:34:06.713 --> 00:34:08.915 Another thing I had was when I was in Junior High School 00:34:08.948 --> 00:34:14.087 and a boy came up to me and he said {Japanese} 00:34:14.120 --> 00:34:18.124 and I said {Japanese} and I said “Not really” 00:34:18.158 --> 00:34:20.126 and like my hands are not particularly big 00:34:20.160 --> 00:34:23.430 and he said {Japanese} 00:34:23.463 --> 00:34:26.266 and I said, “You know, what I think our hands are probably 00:34:26.299 --> 00:34:27.934 about the same size, put your hand up" 00:34:27.967 --> 00:34:29.703 and we put our hands up and we matched them together 00:34:29.736 --> 00:34:33.973 and our hands were exactly the same size and he genuinely was surprised. 00:34:34.007 --> 00:34:35.208 {Japanese} 00:34:37.177 --> 00:34:40.780 Perhaps this idea that you know, it is kind of strange. 00:34:44.517 --> 00:34:48.088 Another thing, an {unclear} example that only recently 00:34:48.121 --> 00:34:50.457 I have started to understand the importance of this. 00:34:50.490 --> 00:34:54.661 In Japan, in Japanese culture, titles are very important. 00:34:54.694 --> 00:34:57.097 The way that you address somebody is very important. 00:34:57.130 --> 00:35:03.036 If the boss of your office is called Mr. Sato, his name is not Sato-san, 00:35:03.069 --> 00:35:07.107 it is probably Sato Kacho or Sato Kakaricho 00:35:07.140 --> 00:35:09.209 and Japanese people will all call him that 00:35:09.242 --> 00:35:14.881 and if you do not call him that, then it can seem a little rude. 00:35:14.914 --> 00:35:18.518 If anybody owns their own company, even if it is a tiny company, 00:35:18.551 --> 00:35:22.922 they are Shacho and all of their friends will call them Shacho. 00:35:22.956 --> 00:35:24.691 I have made a lot of mistakes with this, 00:35:24.724 --> 00:35:28.061 also "you" of course is a famous example. 00:35:28.094 --> 00:35:31.297 In English "you" is fine, you can use "you" to anyone. 00:35:31.331 --> 00:35:37.070 But if you ask Sato Kakaricho or Sato Kacho {Japanese} 00:35:37.103 --> 00:35:40.840 no, that is not going to be very polite at all. 00:35:40.874 --> 00:35:43.443 So, if you are not from Japan, you are living in Japan, 00:35:43.476 --> 00:35:46.746 listen very carefully to the way Japanese people use titles 00:35:46.780 --> 00:35:50.083 because it is quite different from - well it is different from my culture 00:35:50.116 --> 00:35:51.651 and may be similar to your culture. 00:35:51.685 --> 00:35:53.119 But it is a very good way to kind of 00:35:53.153 --> 00:35:56.823 raise your level of cultural awareness quite easily. 00:35:58.925 --> 00:35:59.926 And there is a paradox here, 00:35:59.959 --> 00:36:04.497 and the paradox here is that the better your Japanese, 00:36:04.531 --> 00:36:08.768 the less likely people are to forgive you mistakes. 00:36:08.802 --> 00:36:12.038 If you have just arrived in Japan and your Japanese is terrible 00:36:12.072 --> 00:36:13.606 and you make a mistake, 00:36:13.640 --> 00:36:17.577 people will say he doesn't know, he doesn't speak Japanese. 00:36:17.610 --> 00:36:21.614 But if your Japanese is fluent and you make a mistake, they are going to think, 00:36:21.648 --> 00:36:28.355 so if I call Sato Kacho, Sato-san or Sato Chang, 00:36:28.388 --> 00:36:31.291 and I am a beginner, he is going to say okay. 00:36:31.324 --> 00:36:37.831 If I call him Sato-san, he is going to be {Japanese} 00:36:37.864 --> 00:36:39.866 It gets a little bit more complicated. 00:36:39.899 --> 00:36:42.535 So actually, the better your language gets 00:36:42.569 --> 00:36:44.704 the more you have to be careful about the culture. 00:36:44.738 --> 00:36:46.706 It is a strange paradox I have noticed. 00:36:48.608 --> 00:36:51.978 One more thing I would like to talk about is swearing, 00:36:52.012 --> 00:36:54.647 particularly young people when you learn a new language, 00:36:54.681 --> 00:36:59.252 you are kind of it is exciting, let us learn the bad words of the language. 00:36:59.285 --> 00:37:01.454 Do not ever, okay. 00:37:01.488 --> 00:37:04.758 Swearing in another language is a really bad idea 00:37:04.791 --> 00:37:07.127 and it is a really bad idea for two reasons. 00:37:07.160 --> 00:37:12.032 The first reason is that swearing is very, very complicated. 00:37:12.065 --> 00:37:14.667 When is it okay, when is it not okay? 00:37:14.701 --> 00:37:17.771 To understand when it is okay to use a bad word 00:37:17.804 --> 00:37:20.106 and when it is not okay to use a bad word, 00:37:20.140 --> 00:37:22.876 you have to have a very deep knowledge of the culture. 00:37:22.909 --> 00:37:27.247 And even native speakers of the language and native speakers of that culture 00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:28.481 will still make mistakes. 00:37:30.717 --> 00:37:32.819 There are words that you can use with your friends 00:37:32.852 --> 00:37:35.622 that you would never use with somebody else. 00:37:35.655 --> 00:37:41.761 And recently an elementary school student said the F word to me. 00:37:44.864 --> 00:37:48.435 Elementary school student saying that, no, no, no, no, 00:37:48.468 --> 00:37:51.438 but he had heard it somewhere and he thought it was quite cool. 00:37:51.471 --> 00:37:53.606 And so, he was tempted to use it. 00:37:53.640 --> 00:37:55.642 It is not cool. 00:37:58.211 --> 00:37:59.579 I have another example of this. 00:37:59.612 --> 00:38:02.716 I had a Japanese student who had lived in America for a year 00:38:02.749 --> 00:38:05.385 and she came back and she introduced me to a friend 00:38:05.418 --> 00:38:11.124 who was also a student and he had lived in America too. 00:38:11.157 --> 00:38:14.961 And she said this is David, he is my teacher, this is my friend something 00:38:14.994 --> 00:38:16.429 and he said, "Yo mother ..." 00:38:19.399 --> 00:38:22.268 You cannot use language like that to a teacher 00:38:22.302 --> 00:38:26.139 if you were not her friend, I would punch you. 00:38:26.172 --> 00:38:27.741 That is just outrageous. 00:38:27.774 --> 00:38:30.377 He did not mean it, he had just learnt this phrase 00:38:30.410 --> 00:38:32.679 and it was kind of cool to use with his friends. 00:38:32.712 --> 00:38:35.415 Not cool at all to use with me. 00:38:35.448 --> 00:38:39.285 The F word, I think I have told you before that I was a policeman in the UK, 00:38:39.319 --> 00:38:42.756 if you say the F word or one more word, if anybody wants to know, 00:38:42.789 --> 00:38:46.459 I will tell you after, if you say that in a loud voice in a public place, 00:38:46.493 --> 00:38:48.228 the police can arrest you. 00:38:48.261 --> 00:38:50.363 I have arrested people for this. 00:38:50.397 --> 00:38:54.634 And you don't arrest them for swearing, you arrest them for disorderly behavior. 00:38:54.667 --> 00:38:59.039 And the use of that language proves disorderly behavior. 00:38:59.072 --> 00:39:02.175 Long story short, learn bad words in another language 00:39:02.208 --> 00:39:05.111 if you think it is going to be interesting, never use them, ever. 00:39:06.613 --> 00:39:08.581 It is pointless and it can be dangerous. 00:39:08.615 --> 00:39:11.317 The final point, the final point is common ground. 00:39:11.351 --> 00:39:14.554 When you meet someone, I think this is universal, 00:39:14.587 --> 00:39:16.556 I think this is the same wherever you go. 00:39:16.589 --> 00:39:19.359 If you want to establish a relationship with someone, 00:39:19.392 --> 00:39:22.495 it is a good idea to find things that you have in common. 00:39:22.529 --> 00:39:24.798 To look for things that you share. 00:39:24.831 --> 00:39:28.868 Focusing on a difference is not a great idea. 00:39:28.902 --> 00:39:30.570 And that is the problem with this question 00:39:30.603 --> 00:39:34.374 because some people say that question is fine there is no problem. 00:39:34.407 --> 00:39:37.143 It is okay, it is a great question, it is not a problem, 00:39:37.177 --> 00:39:40.080 but it is not a conversation starter. 00:39:40.113 --> 00:39:42.315 Do not use this as a conversation starter 00:39:42.349 --> 00:39:45.785 because if you do this, you are saying to the other person 00:39:45.819 --> 00:39:50.023 oh, you are different, you are an outsider, I am going to talk to you. 00:39:50.056 --> 00:39:52.959 You are treating them as an outsider straightaway. 00:39:52.992 --> 00:39:56.196 Last year I was in Scuba, I cannot remember the name, 00:39:56.229 --> 00:40:00.734 but it was some kind of {Japanese} and it was a {Japanese} conference. 00:40:00.767 --> 00:40:03.770 And basically, everybody there was a teacher. 00:40:03.803 --> 00:40:06.339 So, I went into the bath in the evening 00:40:06.373 --> 00:40:08.708 and there was a Japanese guy sitting opposite me 00:40:08.742 --> 00:40:10.844 and he looked at me and he said, "Where are you from?" 00:40:10.877 --> 00:40:14.714 And people like me, foreigners who have lived in Japan for a long time 00:40:14.748 --> 00:40:16.583 we do not like to be asked where are you from. 00:40:16.616 --> 00:40:19.552 And almost everybody who has lived here as long as I have 00:40:19.586 --> 00:40:21.054 will tell you where they live. 00:40:21.087 --> 00:40:27.127 So, I said Gifu, and he said {Japanese} 00:40:27.160 --> 00:40:29.129 And I said, oh, okay are you a teacher? 00:40:29.162 --> 00:40:31.698 And he said yes, I said I am a teacher too. 00:40:31.731 --> 00:40:32.732 I said where do you teach? 00:40:32.766 --> 00:40:36.136 I teach in Gifu in university, I graduated from Gifu University, 00:40:36.169 --> 00:40:40.240 which faculty, Faculty of education, that is where I teach, wow. 00:40:40.273 --> 00:40:43.076 And I thought after that would it not have been so much better 00:40:43.109 --> 00:40:45.545 if the conversation had gone the other way. 00:40:45.578 --> 00:40:49.149 If we had started with are you a teacher, yes, I am, 00:40:49.182 --> 00:40:53.286 because it is a teaching conference here and of course I am a teacher, 00:40:53.319 --> 00:40:55.055 if I was not, I would not be there. 00:40:55.088 --> 00:41:01.094 So, start with that, where do you teach, by the way, where are you from? 00:41:01.127 --> 00:41:04.664 That would have been much, much better I thought. 00:41:04.698 --> 00:41:08.268 And actually just last weekend, I was in Ena in Gifu 00:41:08.301 --> 00:41:11.638 and I went on a motorcycle ride with a friend of mine, a Canadian friend, 00:41:11.671 --> 00:41:16.810 we went to buy ice cream and as I walked up to the store, 00:41:16.843 --> 00:41:20.547 there were three women inside and they all started giggling and laughing. 00:41:20.580 --> 00:41:25.185 Now usually my experience is when this happens, what it means is that 00:41:25.218 --> 00:41:29.356 one of staff speaks English and they are going to get a chance 00:41:29.389 --> 00:41:31.491 to see if he really speaks English. 00:41:31.524 --> 00:41:33.059 So, they are all very excited. 00:41:33.093 --> 00:41:37.964 So I thought okay, I sat down and this guy came out to talk to us and he said, 00:41:37.997 --> 00:41:41.334 because we were on a junction like this and he said, which way did you come, 00:41:41.368 --> 00:41:42.836 did you come that way or this way? 00:41:42.869 --> 00:41:44.270 And I said we came that way. 00:41:44.304 --> 00:41:48.541 Where from, from Gifu, yes, nice bikes, oh thank you very much, 00:41:48.575 --> 00:41:52.278 do you ride a bike, I used to have a bike but I do not anymore I sold it, 00:41:52.312 --> 00:41:55.215 okay, by the way where are you from and I almost stood up 00:41:55.248 --> 00:41:56.783 and I kind of give him a round of applause 00:41:56.816 --> 00:41:59.152 because I thought that is exactly how you do it. 00:41:59.185 --> 00:42:00.220 That is exactly how you do it. 00:42:00.253 --> 00:42:06.493 You find the common ground first and then you lead into the differences. 00:42:06.526 --> 00:42:09.162 I said before that we do not normally ask about food 00:42:09.195 --> 00:42:13.633 but another reason I do not like this question is because it is - 00:42:13.666 --> 00:42:18.705 most Japanese people expect that I am going to say no and I do not like natto. 00:42:18.738 --> 00:42:22.776 And if I do say no, they say {Japanese} 00:42:22.809 --> 00:42:27.847 and I am like why are you so happy that you found a difference between us, 00:42:29.849 --> 00:42:33.586 Why do we not focus on what keeps us together? 00:42:33.620 --> 00:42:37.657 So, it is much more positive to look for common things that we have. 00:42:37.691 --> 00:42:40.927 The interaction will go much better 00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:43.096 if you base it on what do you have in common. 00:42:43.129 --> 00:42:46.199 Not just in Japan, anywhere in the world {unclear}. 00:42:46.232 --> 00:42:48.668 So, the five things to consider were language, 00:42:48.702 --> 00:42:50.837 what language we speak to people in, 00:42:50.870 --> 00:42:53.473 topics, what we talk about, 00:42:53.506 --> 00:42:59.913 context, who is this person rather than just they are a foreigner, 00:42:59.946 --> 00:43:03.683 manners, and looking for common ground. 00:43:03.717 --> 00:43:08.621 Now I can summarize those in terms of three points of practical advice. 00:43:08.655 --> 00:43:10.590 And my three points of practical advice are this - 00:43:10.623 --> 00:43:15.895 number one, cultural mistakes are dangerous. 00:43:15.929 --> 00:43:19.065 Sometimes you will not even know that you have made them. 00:43:19.099 --> 00:43:22.936 You can make an enemy for life and you do not even know that you did it. 00:43:22.969 --> 00:43:25.939 You can have somebody who will never want to talk to you again 00:43:25.972 --> 00:43:29.576 and you have no idea why because you wanted to talk to them, 00:43:29.609 --> 00:43:31.611 you wanted to create a good impression. 00:43:31.644 --> 00:43:34.180 Not just for Japanese people, for everybody. 00:43:34.214 --> 00:43:36.049 I have done this many, many times, 00:43:36.082 --> 00:43:38.551 I am sure that high school teacher hates me now 00:43:38.585 --> 00:43:42.155 because I made her look bad and I put her in a difficult position. 00:43:42.188 --> 00:43:45.959 I did not want to put her in a difficult position, it was a mistake. 00:43:45.992 --> 00:43:49.195 But I think in education we tend to focus 00:43:49.229 --> 00:43:51.297 a little bit too much on the language. 00:43:51.331 --> 00:43:55.068 And it is not just the grammar, it is not just the vocabulary, 00:43:55.101 --> 00:43:57.904 that kind of links on point two, which is that the thing 00:43:57.937 --> 00:44:02.308 that people care about most is that you are friendly and you smile. 00:44:02.342 --> 00:44:05.311 In Japan if you are friendly and you smile, 00:44:05.345 --> 00:44:09.249 and you can say {Japanese} 00:44:09.282 --> 00:44:11.685 you can pretty much do anything. 00:44:11.718 --> 00:44:13.053 That is all you really need, 00:44:13.086 --> 00:44:15.422 as long as you are friendly and as long as you smile, 00:44:15.455 --> 00:44:18.024 and this again is true all over the world. 00:44:18.058 --> 00:44:20.760 I had a friend who came to Singapore when I was teaching there, 00:44:20.794 --> 00:44:24.798 and he came to the zoo because we took our students to the zoo 00:44:24.831 --> 00:44:29.336 and we had a range from pre-intermediate up to upper intermediate. 00:44:29.369 --> 00:44:34.107 And the difference there is huge, these people they were really good. 00:44:34.140 --> 00:44:36.710 And I said to my friend, my friend is not a teacher 00:44:36.743 --> 00:44:39.546 and I said, can you tell who is pre-intermediate 00:44:39.579 --> 00:44:40.814 and who is intermediate, 00:44:40.847 --> 00:44:43.950 and he said no, they all speak with a funny accent. 00:44:43.983 --> 00:44:45.819 So, he had no idea who was - 00:44:45.852 --> 00:44:50.323 so people who are not teachers will have no idea what your English level is. 00:44:50.323 --> 00:44:54.561 All they will care about is how friendly are you and whether you are smiling. 00:44:54.594 --> 00:44:57.964 Where are you from - again, it is not a great question 00:44:57.997 --> 00:45:01.201 but if you ask it hi, where are you from, 00:45:01.234 --> 00:45:03.737 it is better than where are you from. 00:45:03.770 --> 00:45:06.239 I have had that before, people would just come up to me 00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:07.607 and say where are you from 00:45:07.640 --> 00:45:10.610 and you feel like you are being interviewed by the police. 00:45:10.643 --> 00:45:12.512 So that is a very important thing. 00:45:12.545 --> 00:45:15.615 And the final thing is not to put people in boxes 00:45:15.648 --> 00:45:20.286 based on the way they look or even on what they are. 00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:23.923 The guy who did the Dutch video with me, he is an engineer 00:45:23.957 --> 00:45:25.125 and we were talking about this 00:45:25.158 --> 00:45:28.828 and he said he has got a friend who is a woman engineer 00:45:28.862 --> 00:45:32.198 and she said when she is with a group of seven engineers, 00:45:32.232 --> 00:45:36.069 she does not want to be seen as the female engineer. 00:45:36.102 --> 00:45:39.839 She is an engineer, she happens to be female, but she is an engineer 00:45:39.873 --> 00:45:42.175 and I want everybody else to see me as an engineer, 00:45:42.208 --> 00:45:43.710 not as a female engineer. 00:45:43.743 --> 00:45:46.913 I think - I asked one of my students about this today 00:45:46.946 --> 00:45:53.386 and I am like how many {Japanese} would prefer just to be {Japanese} ? 00:45:53.420 --> 00:45:57.057 Why do I have to be {Japanese}, why cannot I just be {Japanese}? 00:45:57.090 --> 00:45:59.759 Because that is what we are or that is what they are. 00:45:59.793 --> 00:46:03.129 So, if we referred to everything as {Japanese}, 00:46:03.163 --> 00:46:06.466 we are kind of continually putting that border up 00:46:06.499 --> 00:46:09.069 and we say we are different from you. 00:46:11.004 --> 00:46:15.475 It is very important to not put people into those categories. 00:46:15.508 --> 00:46:19.045 But - and I will finish with this, when you learn a language, 00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:20.380 you are going to make mistakes. 00:46:20.413 --> 00:46:23.316 You make mistakes with grammar, you make mistakes with vocabulary 00:46:23.350 --> 00:46:25.485 and you will make mistakes with culture. 00:46:25.518 --> 00:46:27.887 I have lived here 20 years and I still do. 00:46:27.921 --> 00:46:31.124 I have made so many that it is embarrassing even to think about. 00:46:31.157 --> 00:46:36.029 But you can avoid a lot of these just by being sensitive, 00:46:36.062 --> 00:46:39.499 watch the other person's face, watch their reactions. 00:46:39.532 --> 00:46:42.602 If it seems like this person does not want to talk about this, 00:46:42.635 --> 00:46:46.573 stop talking about it and switch the subject, do not just drive on. 00:46:47.974 --> 00:46:52.178 The worst example I have ever had of this was a high school principal 00:46:52.212 --> 00:46:55.682 who wanted to talk to me about food and he said, 00:46:55.715 --> 00:46:58.118 do you like Japanese sushi and I said no, 00:46:58.151 --> 00:47:00.653 not really because I do not like seafood 00:47:00.687 --> 00:47:03.857 and he said, do you like kani, and I said well, no, 00:47:03.890 --> 00:47:05.859 I have just told you that I do not like seafood 00:47:05.892 --> 00:47:10.563 and kani live in the sea and he said {Japanese}. 00:47:10.597 --> 00:47:13.266 I am not joking, we went for 20 minutes on this, 00:47:13.299 --> 00:47:18.538 we went for 20 minutes of him trying to find one item of seafood that I like. 00:47:18.571 --> 00:47:20.206 I suspect that the reason was that 00:47:20.240 --> 00:47:22.842 do you like was the only question he knew how to say. 00:47:22.876 --> 00:47:25.578 But if he had watched my face he would have seen no, 00:47:25.612 --> 00:47:28.515 this is not a great thing to be talking about. 00:47:28.548 --> 00:47:31.951 And if I had watched the guy's face when I was talking about the {Japanese}, 00:47:31.985 --> 00:47:36.156 maybe I would have understood that I was making a mistake and not him. 00:47:36.189 --> 00:47:38.024 So, I will finish there, so we have time for Q&A. 00:47:38.058 --> 00:47:39.292 Thank you very much. 00:47:44.264 --> 00:47:45.965 By the way, can I just say one more thing? 00:47:45.999 --> 00:47:47.967 I said Q&A, but I would be very interested 00:47:48.001 --> 00:47:50.670 to just hear any comments about anybody's experience of this 00:47:50.704 --> 00:47:55.375 or anybody's kind of opinions about this would be very interesting, I think. 00:48:06.152 --> 00:48:08.755 Thank you for your presentation. 00:48:08.788 --> 00:48:13.259 I want to ask, maybe it was like I was bit kind of like slap in the face 00:48:13.293 --> 00:48:18.365 about seeing all Westerns can speak English, 00:48:18.398 --> 00:48:21.768 assuming westerners can speak English. 00:48:21.801 --> 00:48:25.772 Yes, I think before today maybe I was like that too, I feel like 00:48:25.805 --> 00:48:30.443 and I see westerners maybe they can speak definitely they can speak English 00:48:30.477 --> 00:48:34.180 but by that video that is not the case. 00:48:34.214 --> 00:48:38.051 So, my question is what should we do, 00:48:38.084 --> 00:48:40.887 should we ask first like is English okay or what? 00:48:40.920 --> 00:48:42.022 That is a really good question. 00:48:42.055 --> 00:48:44.958 Actually, the last time I was in Meidai, I got lost 00:48:44.991 --> 00:48:48.161 and I saw a tall white guy walking towards me 00:48:48.194 --> 00:48:50.797 and because I teach this, I spoke to him in Japanese 00:48:50.830 --> 00:48:52.665 and he just answered in English. 00:48:52.699 --> 00:48:54.200 He was an American. 00:48:54.234 --> 00:48:56.002 It is really difficult to know 00:48:56.036 --> 00:49:00.006 but I guess do you speak English is a good start. 00:49:00.006 --> 00:49:01.908 And if you say if you ask do you speak English 00:49:01.941 --> 00:49:05.111 but if you are talking to somebody from another country, 00:49:05.145 --> 00:49:08.081 but if you are Japanese, I would speak to them in Japanese. 00:49:09.482 --> 00:49:12.619 If you are not Japanese, then I think say to them do you speak English, 00:49:12.652 --> 00:49:15.955 that is kind of a reasonable question, excuse me do you speak English. 00:49:15.989 --> 00:49:19.492 But it is tricky and it is important to remember that even if they do 00:49:19.526 --> 00:49:24.030 they still might not like the fact that you assumed that they did 00:49:24.064 --> 00:49:30.170 particularly if they are German or Spanish or Italian or French or Russian. 00:49:32.005 --> 00:49:33.273 Okay, thank you very much. 00:49:41.147 --> 00:49:45.518 I just kind of like adding to that, I have a friend who is from Poland 00:49:45.552 --> 00:49:50.256 and our Japanese level is - I am from America so my English is fine 00:49:50.290 --> 00:49:53.059 but her Japanese is better than her English, 00:49:53.093 --> 00:49:57.564 we will speak together in Japanese which is very confusing I guess 00:49:57.597 --> 00:50:00.166 if you have two white people in a supermarket 00:50:00.200 --> 00:50:01.301 speaking Japanese to each other. 00:50:01.334 --> 00:50:03.670 Right. 00:50:03.703 --> 00:50:07.273 The quote I like most from that video is more 00:50:07.307 --> 00:50:11.411 {Japanese} 00:50:11.411 --> 00:50:13.713 and I think that is absolutely true for all of us. 00:50:15.849 --> 00:50:18.118 Thank you, it is a really good example, I might use it next time. 00:50:23.423 --> 00:50:26.026 {Japanese} 00:50:33.166 --> 00:50:37.871 I am fine with English and there are sometimes that 00:50:37.904 --> 00:50:44.077 if I try to talk with foreign people in Japan, they talk to me in Japanese 00:50:44.110 --> 00:50:48.648 but I speak English enough to communicate with people 00:50:48.682 --> 00:50:53.386 and they want to speak in Japanese but it is really - their Japanese is… 00:50:53.420 --> 00:50:57.090 Your English is better than their Japanese, yes, okay. 00:50:57.123 --> 00:51:01.861 It is really like difficult to make communication {unclear}, 00:51:01.895 --> 00:51:02.996 I do not understand what they are saying 00:51:03.029 --> 00:51:05.031 and they do not understand what I am saying 00:51:05.065 --> 00:51:09.703 but they think they understand, so I am like can we speak in English 00:51:09.736 --> 00:51:15.208 and I keep trying to like {unclear} Japanese and {unclear}. 00:51:15.241 --> 00:51:16.976 That is a really difficult problem. 00:51:17.010 --> 00:51:20.613 I have this too when I go - somebody will try to speak to me in English 00:51:20.647 --> 00:51:24.617 and I will just think your English is really, really bad, 00:51:24.651 --> 00:51:27.554 let us do Japanese, it would be much better. 00:51:27.587 --> 00:51:32.959 And sometimes it is in a situation where I am in charge. 00:51:32.992 --> 00:51:34.861 For example, I am a customer. 00:51:34.894 --> 00:51:38.331 For example a guy came to my house once to measure the big yard 00:51:38.365 --> 00:51:43.303 because he wanted to build a tent and I kept speaking to him in Japanese 00:51:43.336 --> 00:51:47.107 and he kept replying in English and his English was virtually zero, 00:51:47.140 --> 00:51:52.212 and he was talking about the tent and he was saying green, {Japanese} 00:51:52.245 --> 00:51:55.782 and I was thinking {Japanese} 00:51:55.815 --> 00:51:58.818 but every sentence he tried to translate into English. 00:51:58.852 --> 00:52:00.487 It is a very tricky thing to do. 00:52:00.520 --> 00:52:02.155 But you actually raise a very good point 00:52:02.188 --> 00:52:07.360 because if I speak to you in Japanese and you reply to me in English, 00:52:07.394 --> 00:52:11.931 you are sending the message your Japanese is not very good. 00:52:11.965 --> 00:52:13.900 So, it is a tricky thing to do. 00:52:13.933 --> 00:52:16.903 If the person’s Japanese isn’t really very good, 00:52:16.936 --> 00:52:19.673 then you can say something like actually, I speak English, 00:52:19.706 --> 00:52:22.175 shall we, and then just from saying that, 00:52:22.208 --> 00:52:25.045 they will recognize okay, this guy’s English is better than mine. 00:52:25.078 --> 00:52:28.114 If they did - and my Japanese, if they do not recognize that 00:52:29.883 --> 00:52:31.017 again, it is just somebody 00:52:31.051 --> 00:52:33.653 you are not going to want to talk to again, is it not. 00:52:33.687 --> 00:52:35.989 But yes, really interesting point, thank you. 00:52:36.022 --> 00:52:37.057 That happens a lot. 00:52:43.296 --> 00:52:45.965 First of all, I am Mexican, so my native language {unclear}. 00:52:45.999 --> 00:52:47.467 Oh okay. 00:52:47.500 --> 00:52:49.502 But I have a few examples about that. 00:52:49.536 --> 00:52:52.772 First of all, since I can hear everyone saying that 00:52:52.806 --> 00:52:56.076 I am native English speaker which is weird. 00:52:56.109 --> 00:52:57.911 Which can be good in some ways. 00:52:57.944 --> 00:53:01.281 I know, and the other one is I have a Japanese friend, 00:53:01.314 --> 00:53:03.983 but she is learning Spanish and when we talk, 00:53:04.017 --> 00:53:07.487 we are talking in the three languages, Japanese, Spanish 00:53:07.520 --> 00:53:10.924 and all the Japanese people around us is like what {unclear}. 00:53:10.957 --> 00:53:12.892 What is going on there, yes. 00:53:12.926 --> 00:53:15.261 And Japan is changing, it is becoming more international. 00:53:15.295 --> 00:53:18.932 I mean you look at Nagoya, you just see these different - 00:53:18.965 --> 00:53:22.902 I mean if you go to a city like London, it is not surprising to see 00:53:22.936 --> 00:53:25.872 any type of person speaking any type of language 00:53:25.905 --> 00:53:29.209 but I think that Japan is changing and I think that will kind of 00:53:29.242 --> 00:53:30.844 become the norm in the future. 00:53:30.877 --> 00:53:33.380 And I think it is good especially for children to see that 00:53:33.413 --> 00:53:38.385 so that they do not equate this color skin equals this language. 00:53:38.418 --> 00:53:39.452 Thank you. 00:53:52.499 --> 00:55:31.698 {Japanese} 00:55:31.698 --> 00:55:35.402 I think, excuse me, I speak English, can I help you. 00:55:35.435 --> 00:55:38.204 I have done that, actually, I have done that in a home center 00:55:38.238 --> 00:55:40.907 where there was a guy speaking to the {Japanese} 00:55:40.940 --> 00:55:42.075 and he was speaking English 00:55:42.108 --> 00:55:45.545 and the guy that {Japanese} did not understand at all. 00:55:45.578 --> 00:55:47.180 And I understood what he was saying, 00:55:47.213 --> 00:55:49.849 so I explained it to the {Japanese} and everybody was happy. 00:55:49.883 --> 00:55:51.184 So, I think that is okay. 00:55:52.352 --> 00:55:53.353 Thank you so much. 00:55:53.386 --> 00:55:54.387 You are welcome. 00:55:58.558 --> 00:56:00.527 Anything else? 00:56:00.560 --> 00:56:01.594 Can I ask a question? 00:56:01.594 --> 00:56:02.195 Sure. 00:56:02.195 --> 00:56:06.399 Okay, you warned us about 00:56:06.433 --> 00:56:12.372 like subtle differences or delicate things that we should be careful about, 00:56:12.405 --> 00:56:16.309 but I get the feeling that you sort of enjoy 00:56:16.343 --> 00:56:21.448 discovering these little important things. 00:56:21.481 --> 00:56:25.051 Could you give us some - not just warn us about it 00:56:25.085 --> 00:56:28.722 but sometimes we can enjoy those. 00:56:28.755 --> 00:56:30.990 Oh, that is a really good point. 00:56:31.024 --> 00:56:33.326 I think I enjoy it much more - 00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:38.832 the problem for me is that I am quite slow to notice stuff. 00:56:38.865 --> 00:56:42.535 So, the stuff that I have learned from making mistakes myself, 00:56:42.569 --> 00:56:46.006 it took me a long time to realize that I had made a mistake. 00:56:46.039 --> 00:56:51.845 So, I could not really enjoy that, but I think doing events like this 00:56:51.878 --> 00:56:54.714 and laughing about it I think is one thing. 00:56:54.748 --> 00:57:00.186 I think actually when I say, for example {Japanese} 00:57:00.220 --> 00:57:05.291 most Japanese people will say how can that be a problem. 00:57:05.325 --> 00:57:07.260 But if there are lots of people from other countries 00:57:07.293 --> 00:57:09.596 and they are all saying yes, we do not like that, we do not like that, 00:57:09.629 --> 00:57:11.831 then it is a great way to start a conversation 00:57:11.865 --> 00:57:15.068 and kind of getting to know each other. 00:57:15.068 --> 00:57:19.439 So I think through education 00:57:19.472 --> 00:57:23.410 and just being interested in - 00:57:23.443 --> 00:57:27.681 I worked in Singapore and I taught people from all over the world 00:57:27.714 --> 00:57:30.817 and we had a list in the office, there was a list of things 00:57:30.850 --> 00:57:33.253 that you do not do this to people from, 00:57:33.286 --> 00:57:36.222 you know in Thailand you cannot touch a child’s head. 00:57:37.290 --> 00:57:38.658 So we had this list of rules, 00:57:38.692 --> 00:57:40.293 you know if somebody is from Thailand do not do this, 00:57:40.326 --> 00:57:42.829 and you cannot point your feet at them, 00:57:42.862 --> 00:57:45.465 so if you are sitting you cannot point your feet, 00:57:45.498 --> 00:57:51.971 I hope nobody is from Thailand, but it is important to remember 00:57:52.005 --> 00:57:54.641 I think that people like us or for people like me, 00:57:54.674 --> 00:57:56.743 this is what we do for a living, this is our job. 00:57:56.776 --> 00:58:00.613 So of course, it is interesting, but for the general public 00:58:00.647 --> 00:58:03.983 maybe I am not sure how interesting it is. 00:58:04.017 --> 00:58:06.119 But I think everybody, as I said before, 00:58:06.152 --> 00:58:09.522 I think most people want to have a positive interaction. 00:58:09.556 --> 00:58:14.894 So I think in terms of - that is why I changed my title, 00:58:14.928 --> 00:58:19.099 so things you should not say is kind of negative here, 00:58:19.132 --> 00:58:22.669 so I changed that to things to think about while you talk to them 00:58:22.702 --> 00:58:26.072 and then through doing that you can have a more positive interaction 00:58:26.106 --> 00:58:29.075 and hopefully that will be the enjoyable thing. 00:58:29.109 --> 00:58:30.110 Does that make sense? 00:58:30.143 --> 00:58:32.779 So maybe if you - I think what you are saying was 00:58:32.812 --> 00:58:35.248 if you share your discovery and what you notice 00:58:35.248 --> 00:58:37.283 maybe that makes it more interesting to people? 00:58:37.317 --> 00:58:38.685 Possible, I do not know. 00:58:38.718 --> 00:58:40.220 I have shared my discoveries 00:58:40.253 --> 00:58:42.355 and I do not know whether it is interesting or not, 00:58:42.389 --> 00:58:44.324 everybody else will have to make a judgment about that 00:58:44.357 --> 00:58:46.793 but as I said, I am not an expert in this field. 00:58:46.826 --> 00:58:50.663 It is just that through my experience and through talking to a lot of - 00:58:50.697 --> 00:58:53.967 I mean I have lived here 20 years, but I have countless friends 00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:57.037 who have also lived here 20 years, so we share stories. 00:58:57.070 --> 00:59:00.507 And I also talk to a lot of {Japanese} 00:59:00.540 --> 00:59:04.611 because I was the {Japanese} in Gifu University 00:59:04.644 --> 00:59:06.379 so I deal with all the {Japanese}. 00:59:06.413 --> 00:59:08.314 So, I talk to them a lot. 00:59:08.348 --> 00:59:09.883 I do not know about {Japanese} 00:59:09.916 --> 00:59:15.221 but the biggest complaint from Gifu University {Japanese} is that 00:59:15.255 --> 00:59:18.024 it is almost impossible to make Japanese friends. 00:59:18.058 --> 00:59:21.094 They really want to make Japanese friends but they cannot 00:59:21.127 --> 00:59:25.265 and so all the {Japanese} just end up hanging out together 00:59:25.298 --> 00:59:29.002 just because it is difficult to - but I talk to my Japanese students 00:59:29.035 --> 00:59:31.938 and they say, well, I would love to have some {Japanese} friends. 00:59:31.971 --> 00:59:35.742 And so, I think maybe the university needs to do more to kind of, 00:59:35.775 --> 00:59:37.143 you know, we have parties and things 00:59:37.177 --> 00:59:40.547 but there seems to be a kind of war between them. 00:59:40.580 --> 00:59:41.681 Same here. 00:59:43.183 --> 00:59:47.153 And possibly the reason for that is the thinking {Japanese}. 00:59:47.187 --> 00:59:51.157 If we just stopped thinking {Japanese} and start thinking {Japanese}, 00:59:51.191 --> 00:59:54.994 then it is a little bit different, yes, this person is a student, same as me. 00:59:55.028 --> 00:59:56.730 And they are from a different country. 00:59:56.763 --> 01:00:01.835 But if you have got a {Japanese} and you are a student in {Japanese} as well, 01:00:01.868 --> 01:00:06.740 you two have more in common than you do with a farmer from Gifu. 01:00:06.773 --> 01:00:09.109 Even though you and the farmer from Gifu are both Japanese, 01:00:09.142 --> 01:00:13.179 you have zero in common and you do not know - you have zero in common. 01:00:13.213 --> 01:00:15.248 But with this person you are taking the same classes, 01:00:15.281 --> 01:00:18.485 you eat in the same cafeteria, you know the same teachers, 01:00:18.518 --> 01:00:21.354 you study at the same campus. 01:00:21.388 --> 01:00:24.257 So, we can actually have much more in common with somebody 01:00:24.290 --> 01:00:27.894 if we focus on the thing that joins us rather than things that … 01:00:38.271 --> 01:00:42.442 One thing that I have noticed from living in Japan is that 01:00:42.442 --> 01:00:46.913 when I speak in English the Japanese people {unclear}, 01:00:46.946 --> 01:00:51.151 they automatically ask me if I can speak {unclear} 01:00:51.184 --> 01:00:54.054 and I get it a lot and I do not really know how to respond 01:00:54.087 --> 01:00:57.357 because I cannot {unclear} it. 01:00:57.390 --> 01:01:00.427 And I get it a lot and I do not really know how to respond to it. 01:01:03.063 --> 01:01:06.599 I got that a lot when I was younger, I do not get it anymore. 01:01:06.633 --> 01:01:09.335 Do you find this tends to be men? 01:01:09.369 --> 01:01:13.440 No, both {unclear} but both. 01:01:14.708 --> 01:01:20.013 And it happens a lot and sometimes it is quite {unclear}. 01:01:20.046 --> 01:01:23.249 The safe answer is I am sorry, I am on a student visa 01:01:23.283 --> 01:01:27.887 or I am not allowed to do any teaching because this is true, 01:01:27.921 --> 01:01:30.557 if you are on a student visa, you are not allowed to work, so - 01:01:30.590 --> 01:01:33.426 well, you might be a little bit but they do not know that. 01:01:33.460 --> 01:01:36.363 I think the safest answer is yes, I wish I could 01:01:36.396 --> 01:01:40.066 but I am afraid I am not allowed to do teaching 01:01:40.100 --> 01:01:42.469 or I am a student {Japanese}, 01:01:42.502 --> 01:01:45.472 I am so busy with my studies I do not have any time, 01:01:45.505 --> 01:01:47.874 I am sorry I wish I could. 01:01:47.907 --> 01:01:50.310 Does anybody else have a better answer? 01:01:50.343 --> 01:01:52.412 Maybe other people face the same question. 01:01:55.515 --> 01:01:57.584 There used to be a thing, it does not happen so much anymore 01:01:57.617 --> 01:02:00.520 but there used to be the thing particularly with older men 01:02:00.553 --> 01:02:04.257 and they would spot a gaijin and they would think {Japanese} 01:02:04.290 --> 01:02:07.360 and they would just head for the gaijin and just sit there next to the gaijin 01:02:07.394 --> 01:02:11.297 and start talking because you are my {Japanese} partner. 01:02:11.331 --> 01:02:13.600 Am I, are you paying me? 01:02:13.633 --> 01:02:14.801 No. 01:02:14.834 --> 01:02:16.302 So why do I have to do this as my job, 01:02:16.336 --> 01:02:21.341 that is like me walking up into a restaurant and saying just give me food 01:02:21.374 --> 01:02:25.011 because you are a cook, yes, but I am not your cook. 01:02:25.045 --> 01:02:27.981 So, I did that, and it has not happened to me for a long time, 01:02:28.014 --> 01:02:30.150 but it did when I first got here. 01:02:30.183 --> 01:02:34.454 I think possibly because the number of foreigners has increased, 01:02:34.487 --> 01:02:37.691 people must just think that you look very nice and friendly. 01:02:37.724 --> 01:02:39.192 You must be smiling too much. 01:02:42.362 --> 01:02:44.197 Thank you. 01:02:44.230 --> 01:02:45.265 Alright, thank you. 01:02:48.668 --> 01:02:52.339 If that is everything, then okay, thank you very much for coming. 01:02:52.372 --> 01:02:54.274 {unclear} more personal question. 01:02:54.307 --> 01:02:57.977 Yes, if anybody has any other questions that they kind of want to ask 01:02:58.011 --> 01:03:00.046 or just a story they want to tell me, but you do not want to say it 01:03:00.080 --> 01:03:01.581 in front of everybody, I will still be here. 01:03:01.614 --> 01:03:04.250 So please feel free to come and talk to me. 01:03:04.284 --> 01:03:05.452 Yes, thank you very much. 01:03:05.485 --> 01:03:06.586 Thank you very much.